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  • Writer's pictureJackie Hartsoe

Wedding - Unpopular Opinions (Vol. 1)

I've got them, we've all got them... I just say them louder? Feel free to disagree & become offended: they are unpopular opinions for a reason.


My first extremely unpopular opinion is I am a brat and I'm not super sorry about that. Derek wanted to propose to me secretly and feed me little hints and clues. It is hot and romantic that he is hot and romantic.


I am not hot and romantic. This was very unpopular with my family and friends. It drove me absolutely bonkers. He was doing a nice thing for me and spending a lot of time on it and I was not part of the fun. I was not choosing fucking joy. *My journey* is embracing... I am not capable of enjoying the journey. Before you crucify me my main complaint is, in addition to loving him, I really like him and his proposal took a ton of time and effort and I wasn't allowed to feel excluded or annoyed by any of this because it was in my name.


Actual footage of JUDGMENT leveled against me


Something about being 'not allowed' really makes me want to do it.


That's all I'm going to give you on this one, but stay tuned for more reasons to completely get over wanting to reconnect with me!



Derek had this to add, I swear to god I didn't write it:


I knew it was time to propose , so I gathered the brain trust (my friend Zack) so we could put our heads together and it up with something worthy of Jackie. I am fucking overflowing with love and adoration for this woman and I would NOT accept anything less than outstanding.

There was a line to walk – she appreciates bombast and theatrics but also would HATE such a private moment taking place in front of a crowd. Lucky for me we had our first date at River Oaks Theater – a beautiful old 1930s theater – and I realized it was the perfect setting – private and intimate and romantic and we also had history there(we famously made out in the bathroom during Napoleon Dynamite). I rented it out and the date was set.

We knew we had to project SOMETHING on the screen since this is a movie theater after all, and my favorite idea(and what I ultimately went with) was a trailer, but like for our relationship. Zack seriously came through here – his dad is a professional camera operator by trade and his neighbor is a professional voice over artist . I wrote a script that touched on the important places and people in our lives and relationship, we had our actor record the narration, and we spent a day shooting all the locations. We also had tons of videos our friends had secretly recorded and sent to me – along with some stop motion footage. Zack did his magic and edited everything together and I think the end result turned out seriously great.

Jackie, who does not enjoy secret planning that she can’t be a part of, was subjected to a couple months of secretive planning meetings and shoot days she couldn’t know about. She hung in there(mostly) and when the week of the proposal rolled around I told her the date and time she needed to be ready , but I didn’t tell her what was happening. We got all dressed up and sprayed ourselves with axe body spray and out we went.

The whole way to the theater I could tell she was trying to figure out where I was taking her, which places were in the direction we were heading. When I went to turn onto the street River Oaks Theater is on it dawned on her and she started crying immediately. Success.

She composed herself and we walked inside into the empty theater. We sat in two seats on the right hand side of the room about halfway back – the same seats from our first date. She still didn’t know what we were going to do here(she later told me she thought I was gonna have us watch a whole ass movie) but we settled in as the projector fired up. We sat through a few actual movie trailers the projectionist threw in for diversion – and it was finally time.

Everything is kind of a happy blur from here on out. Jackie realized what the trailer was. We saw places we went on early dates- we saw our old houses- we saw the house we bought together – we saw our families and friends. We both cried some. The trailer ends with an extended shot of a neon heart - this is where I took Jackie and led her to the stage under the screen, and asked her to marry me. I have ZERO recollection of the words that came out of my mouth, but I remember exactly how it felt(FUCKING FANTASTIC, THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, HOLY SHIT!!!).

We sat down, and I FINALLY got to let Jackie in on all the stuff I had to keep her in the dark on, I think this was her favorite part but you’ll have to ask her. We talked for a half hour or so, hit the bathroom for a quick make out, and headed outside to go to a party where our friends and fam were waiting for us. River Oaks Theater closed a few weeks later – we made it in just under the wire.


So no yeah I'm aware I'm the asshole.

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